| who gives this woman in marriage to this man?" | | | | include the giving of the bride in their ceremonies today |
| There are few more controversial words uttered in | | | | choose to see it as an incarnation of the latter |
| the modern wedding ceremony. The words are so | | | | interpretation. In this case, the bride is saying goodbye |
| socially loaded to some people's way of thinking, in | | | | to her family (and more specifically her father) as the |
| fact, that if you have a ceremony presided over by a | | | | main male role in her life and her father is |
| justice of the peace, he or she will likely not say the | | | | acknowledging a diminished role. |
| phrase. | | | | Alternative phrases. If you are still uncomfortable with |
| Why? The reason for the controversy is rooted in the | | | | the phrase but still wish to include some elements of |
| origins of the tradition behind giving the bride away. Not | | | | the symbolic in your ceremony, you might consider |
| very long ago at all, women were considered to be | | | | some alternative methods to the actual giving of the |
| the property of men. This applied not just to wives, but | | | | bride. One practice that is becoming popular is for both |
| to daughters as well. Many people see the giving | | | | parents to acknowledge giving away the bride. |
| away of the bride as an extension of patriarchal | | | | Another is both the parents of the bride and the |
| systems which for centuries kept women from being | | | | groom replying that they give their children to each |
| recognized as equals. To these people, the phrase is | | | | other. |
| archaic and even harmful in the modern era. | | | | Like many of our common practices, giving away of |
| Alternative Meaning: There is also a school of thought | | | | the bride at a wedding ceremony has its roots in a |
| that interprets the giving of the bride as a symbolic | | | | past that was not always fair. Just because the origins |
| realization of the Bible verse that describes a marriage | | | | of the tradition were misdirected, however, does not |
| as two people leaving their families to start a new life | | | | mean that it cannot change into something positive. |
| together. In this context, the phrase is used less as an | | | | Like nursery rhymes, fairy tales, and organized sport, |
| exchange of property and more as the exchange of | | | | traditional wedding practices such as giving away the |
| one support system for another. | | | | bride can take on a relevant and proper meaning in |
| Using the phrase today. Most people who choose to | | | | modern society. |